Take Carter With You
by SweetDeamon
Summary: It had been the worst suggestion Jack had ever made.... S/J.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: Hi there! This is my first ever Stargate fic, I've never attempted to write one before so I have no idea if it will turn out to be any good! I will try to be as accurate as possible, but please bear in mind that my knowledge of Stargate is not quite as substantial as that of Harry Potter. In other words, pretend any mistakes are not there! =). Thank you in advance to anybody who is kind enough to review this fic. You make me smile. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, or anything Stargate-related, nor am I making any profit from this._

**1: Gone**

_Take Carter with you._

It had been a simple suggestion, but, as he lay in bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling of the cabin, Colonel Jack O'Neill couldn't help but feel that it had been the worst suggestion he had ever made in his whole entire life. In fact it was the worst suggestion that anybody, anywhere had ever made in the whole of their lives. And, knowing this, Jack thought the guilt of it was going to kill him slowly and painfully, because now, some month after he had given that fateful instruction, he had yet to have seen Major Samantha Carter return from wherever those alien bastards had taken her.

And yesterday morning the search for her had finally been called off.

She was gone. Jack was never going to see her again.

Of course he'd stormed into General Hammond's office and demanded that they keep on looking, that his team could keep looking even if others did not. But Hammond, albeit regretfully, had denied his request. It was a drain on resources, he'd said, and the SGC could no longer spare them. Jack had pointed out that Carter herself was one of the greatest resources that Earth had, she was so damn smart, they couldn't just leave her out there. But Hammond's response had been to give SG1 some downtime. For their grief, he'd said, and he was sorry. He knew how much Carter had meant to them. Jack had hated that last sentence. It made it sound as though Carter was dead. Jack couldn't stand the thought of it, couldn't stand to believe it, because if he were entirely honest with himself Jack knew that his life simply wouldn't be worth living if Carter wasn't in it. But he'd put on a brave face, like the soldier he was, thanked the general for his understanding, and then headed off to round up Daniel and Teal'c. They'd left the base together and came here, to Jack's cabin.

It had been a stupid idea, the Colonel thought miserably. It just didn't feel right, being here. He'd often offered to take Carter fishing here in Minnesota, but she had always offered him a small smile and politely declined his offer. She'd always claimed she had work to do, but Jack had finally concluded, after who knew how many offers, that she simply didn't like fishing. It seemed to Jack that Carter never took holidays, in fact she never took breaks either. He'd ended up taking trips down to her lab during the early hours of the morning to discover her bent over one of her little science-y contraptions, and, after making a pest of himself and fiddling with a alien-thingy or two he'd order her to go to bed.

He wished he were doing that right now.

He wished he were back at the SGC. It was better there. It was full of memories, full of Carter, and he needed that right now. Not some empty cabin with a few fishing rods and no memories of her at all.

There came a soft knock upon the door and Jack looked up in time to see it open a little, revealing a visitor.

"Jack?" Daniel asked as he squinted through the dim light at Jack's figures sprawled upon the bed.

"What is it, Daniel?" Jack asked, peering right back at him. Daniel. At first Jack had wanted to blame him for this whole sorry mess. If Daniel hadn't been so damn insistent about translating those pointless markings in that cave, Carter wouldn't have gone off on her own, Daniel could have gone with her. But it had not taken long for Jack to transfer the blame onto himself. It had been his order. That made it entirely his fault.

"Um...Teal'c and I...we were just wondering if you wanted to come do some fishing...?" Daniel asked hesitantly.

Jack found himself with a sudden desire to scream. Fishing?! Carter was out there somewhere, lost on another world, who knew what had happened to her by now, and they were asking him if he wanted to do some fishing?! It took all of his control to calmly shake his head and mumble:

"Nah. I'm good here."

"Right..." Daniel nodded his head a little, but made no sign that he was about to leave. After a long pause he said: "Jack?"

"Daniel?"

The archaeologist took a deep breath, hesitating again before he recalled:

"I was thinking...Sam never came fishing with us." When Jack merely stared at him, he admitted: "I...I'd kinda prefer to go home. Back to the SGC."

"As would I, O'Neill." a voice from behind Daniel added, and Jack suddenly realized that Teal'c was there too. He felt relieved that his friends had come to the same conclusion as he had. This way all he needed to do was agree with them,

"Well..." the Colonel said slowly, heaving himself into a sitting position. "I'm not gonna argue with that. Let's get out of here."

Jack had been wrong.

The SGC was not better. In fact he thought it might even be worse. He found himself wandering down to Carter's lab, only to find it dark and empty, some piece of alien technology abandoned upon the work bench. Jack reached to pick it up and turn it around in his hands. It wasn't the same, not when Carter was not there to watch him with mild disapproval, or even amusement, she always tried to hide the latter but he'd seen it. She'd turn away from him and busy herself with some paperwork, but he'd catch her smiling. When Carter smiled, Jack always wanted to smile back at her. He wished he could see her smiling now, that perfect smile she wore that made his heart leap and would leave him silently scolding himself and recalling the regs. Carter was his 2IC, he couldn't think of her like that.

Not that he could stop such thoughts, that was. But he liked to think he did try. After all, he did not want to ruin Carter's career, she'd work hard, really hard, he couldn't let himself ruin it for her.

Jack put the contraption back down upon the bench and wandered over to Carter's desk, staring down at the countless papers strewn across the surface, calculations and notes scribbled all over them. He could just envisage her bent over the desk, hurriedly writing down her findings in a rush to get to the next calculation, the next piece of information, the next nugget of knowledge that she'd store in that massive brain of hers. He could imagine the sound of her techno-babble as she excitedly explained her findings to him, loosing him halfway through the first sentence. He'd sigh to himself and know that next time he just shouldn't bother asking because he would never get what the hell she was talking about. But then the opportunity would arise again and he'd still ask, just to watch her face light up as she trailed off into her own little world full of electrons and particles and other kinds of overly complicated science thingys...

Oh hell. He missed her.

He wanted her back...


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Stargate is not mine and I am not making any profit at all from this. _

_Note: I would like to say a huge thank you to all those people who left me reviews! I am so glad to know that you like this fic! I only hope that this chapter, and indeed all those that follow it, are not disappointing to you. Eeeek, pressure! =)_

**2: A Slight Obsession**

Tap, tap tap...

_Hi...this is Sam. I can't get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you soon..._

Beep...

There was only a brief pause before he reached to hang up. Then he picked the phone up once more.

Tap, tap tap...

_Hi...this is Sam. I can't get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you soon..._

Beep...

Jack heard himself sigh as he reached to replace the receiver again. This was pathetic. Really pathetic. He knew it was, he knew he was being ridiculous. And yet...

The Colonel snatched up the receiver and reached to punch in the number. It would be the last time, he told himself firmly, because this was stupid, it wasn't helping him, he'd been standing here for ages for cryin' out loud! But, as he listened to Carter's cheerful greeting, Jack knew that it didn't matter how stupid he was being. There was just no stopping him. He'd been playing this game for a few days now. When he'd first felt a desperate need to hear her voice he'd spent an hour staring at the telephone, telling himself to pull himself together. He'd known from the very beginning that this was not good for him. This was not going to bring her back. But he was only going to do it once, he had told himself. Then just once more, just to soothe his misery for a moment or two. Then once a day, to keep him going. That wasn't obsessive, it was only once...twice a day. He wasn't loosing his mind, it was only once every few hours. Minutes...

Oh god...

In a sudden wave of rationality, Jack dropped the phone down onto the desk as if it were white hot, before getting hurriedly to his feet and marching himself off to General Hammond's office. He wasted no time in barging through the door and demanding that his team should return to active duty.

From his seat behind the large desk littered with reports and other bits of paperwork, Hammond simply stared. He slowly took in the Colonel's pale, drawn features, his rumpled clothes and the dark circles under his eyes.

"Are you sure, Jack?" he asked doubtfully, causing Jack to shift his feet impatiently. "Do you really feel...ready to go on missions?"

"Believe me, sir," the Colonel replied adamantly. "The only thing that's gonna make us ready for missions is to just go and do them. Sitting here moping is doing my team no favours." It's not doing me any favors, anyway, he added silently. He didn't know about Daniel and Teal's He'd not checked up on them for a few days. He'd been too busy playing with that damn telephone.

General Hammond regarded the man stood before him with a mixture of admiration and apprehension. He had been watching the remaining members of SG1 for several days now and had to admit that Jack may well have a point. He'd seen them sitting in the commissary, staring blankly at walls, their eyes somewhat glazed, untouched food upon their trays. Their minds were clearly preoccupied by their loss. So much so that, though Daniel and Teal'c often sat there together, they said very little to one another. On the rare occasion that the general had passed them and caught a mumbled word, Daniel had been staring at a nearby sergeant who was eating a pot of blue jell-o for lunch.

"Sam loved blue jell-o." the General had heard him observe. Then there had been silence again.

Hammond sighed, reaching to rub his temple thoughtfully. Yes, the Colonel did have a point, he realized, SG1 needed to get back to normality...or as close to normality as was possible with one of their number lost. They needed a simple duty, nothing too big, something boring and low-risk, like those exploratory missions he gave to his scientists...

"Alright then, Jack," he said at last. "Consider yourself and the rest of SG1 recalled to active duty. You'll be briefed at 0900 hours tomorrow and should be ready to head out at 1100." He waited for some sort of reaction from the man stood before him, but Jack merely mumbled:

"Thank you, sir." And then he turned and silently left the office.

When Jack wandered, uninvited, into Daniel's office some ten minutes later, he found the archaeologist sat at his desk, examining a small stone tablet with a somewhat glazed expression. Somehow the Colonel doubted that Daniel was reading the inscription at all. That seemed to happen a lot these days, seeing but not really looking. Jack found himself doing it all the time.

"So...Hammond's given us a mission to do tomorrow." he announced, and Daniel's eyes flickered up to him briefly before staring back at the tablet. He made no reply. Jack shuffled forward and looked down at the tablet too. It was funny, he thought, that, of all the hundreds of fragments of stone Daniel had waved in front of him over the years, he could actually recognize this one. It was strange, he decided as he reached with an absentminded finger to trace the markings, what grief did to memories.

"_But Jack...this could be important...!"_

"_No can do, Daniel, I said time's up and guess what that means? Time's up! Start packing up, kids."_

"_But sir, what if Daniel's right? What if this really is important? It will only take a few minutes and then..."_

"_I said pack up, Carter! We're gonna be jogging back to the 'Gate as it is!" _

Daniel's expression had been rather like a kitten he'd just booted in the face, whilst Carter had looked like some sort of scolded puppy. The kitten he could deal with, Jack recalled, but the puppy...

Jack was a dog man.

The Colonel turned his back upon the tablet, fixing his gaze upon a random bookshelf stuffed full of books and papers.

"Where's Teal'c?" he asked, and at last Daniel graced him with a reply.

"He's in his room, doing his Buddha thing...god...Sam used to laugh herself silly when you used to say that! Remember, Jack?"

Despite the painful feeling that assaulted him as he recalled Carter's laughing face, blue eyes shining with amusement as she shook with laughter, Jack found himself smiling at the thought.

"Yeah...yeah Daniel, I remember." He sighed heavily. "Well...I'm gonna go...y'know..."

"Wait for tomorrow?" Daniel guessed, smiling sadly.

"Yeah. I'll...see you at 0900."

"Okay. See you then, Jack."

"Bye Daniel."

And so Jack returned to his office, sat down behind his desk, and waited. Of course he'd have a long wait, he realized, he should probably find something to occupy his time. Drumming his fingers upon the smooth wooden surface, he thought of the gameboy he'd left in the bottom drawer, there to as the perfect distraction from all that paperwork he was supposed to do. He was pretty sure there was a yoyo hiding in there somewhere, too. If not, there was his computer, but he'd never figured out how to fix it from last time it went wrong, and Carter hadn't got round to fixing it yet...

Had _never_ got round to fixing it _ever_, he meant....

…

…

…

Tap, tap, tap...

_Hi...this is Sam. I can't get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you soon..._

Beep...


	3. Chapter 3

_Note: Once again, thank you to everybody for leaving such enthusiastic reviews! It is so nice to know that people are enjoying this story._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, nor am I making any profit whatsoever from this piece of writing. _

**3: Losing Sam Carter**

Jack stared around at the series of dark little hovels that constituted the "village" that their guide, an enthusiastic young man who went by the name of Callan, had spent the last hour leading them to.

_This is a village_?! The Colonel mouthed to his Second, who was stood just beside him, but Sam Carter merely offered him the smallest of smiles before turning her attention back to Callan and Daniel, who were busy chattering to one another animatedly.

"So, there are other villages nearby?" Daniel was asking, and when Callan gave a nod, Jack wondered whether these other "villages" were any more substantial than the one in which SG1 was now stood.

"Many, many more!" Callan confirmed, grinning widely. "All surrounding the Great Ring!"

"Right, and that's what's up on top of the hill? The Great Ring? That's where the glowing light is coming from?" Daniel asked, waving a vague hand over his shoulder in the direction of the mysterious, rather eerie glow above them. Jack looked up at the sky, frowning at the way the air seemed to pulsate, the glow making his eyes ache. As he reached for his sunglasses, he couldn't help but feel a little uneasy about the whole atmosphere. Beside him, however, Carter was staring up towards the top of the hill, her bright blue eyes themselves aglow in fascination. There would be no stopping her, Jack realized, feeling both bored by the prospect and awed at the same time. Any minute now she was going to leap into scientist mode and be off in her own little world full of atoms and electrons and all those other stupidly complicated things that would make any normal person's head explode because of the massively increased pressure of all the...stuff...that was involved. (If he asked, she could probably write an equation that proved this would happen. He'd remember this idea for the next time he had paperwork to do and needed an amusing distraction; he'd go down to her lab and ask her to figure it out.) And then she'd get excited by it all and attempt to explain it to him, but fail miserably because the words wouldn't be able to leave her lips fast enough and he'd just have no idea what she was talking about.

God, he really couldn't put up with scientists with all their ridiculous techno-babble!

Except Sam Carter, that was. Anything she said, techno-babble or not, was music to his ears.

At this final thought, Jack sucked in a sharp breath. Bad thought. Very bad thought. Remember the regulations, _Colonel_, he told himself sternly.

"So, can I go, Jack?" Daniel's question snapped Jack back to reality. The archaeologist's expression was possibly even more excited than Carter's, Jack half expected him to start hopping from foot to foot impatiently, like a kid begging for Dad to buy him an ice-cream.

"I'd like to examine this Ring, sir." Carter put in hopefully, and Jack could have sworn that Daniel had started to fidget were he stood. "Maybe I can find out what it's used for..."

"Alright, kids, settle down! Teal'c and I are gonna do a sweep of the surrounding area, check this place out a bit better. Daniel, you and Carter can go look at this...Ring thing..."

"But Jack, the caves! From what Callan has told me there could be so much to learn..." Daniel trailed off, scowling at Jack's sigh of exasperation. Then, thankfully, a quiet voice announced:

"I know the way to the Great Ring. I was on my way up there when I came across you."

Jack turned to eye Callan with a scrutinizing gaze. He seemed harmless enough, and even if he wasn't Jack thought he was a bit on the weedy side. Carter could handle him, no problem.

"Well that's great, Callan." the Colonel decided. "Take Carter with you."

There it was, Jack would later recall. There it was, there was the moment. It was the moment that he had lost Sam Carter. It was the worst moment of his life.

Jack had watched Daniel head off towards the caves and Carter follow Callan up the hill towards the Great Ring.

As he made his way out of the village, Teal'c walking just ahead of him, Jack sensed movement behind him and turned abruptly to survey the cluster of huts. When his gaze came to rest upon a native who had no doubt just stepped out of one of the huts, Jack immediately lowered his gun, giving his head a little shake. It was that eerie light, he told himself crossly, it was making him jumpy for cryin' out loud!

The native, a tall male dressed in a sweeping hooded robe, did not appear to be startled by Jack's sudden movements at all. Jack could sense the man watching him from under the folds of the hood, his face shrouded in shadow. Jack noted the dark blue of the robes and the distinctive heavy silver chain that hung around the man's neck, a strange, hypnotic symbol of swirling metal dangling from the end, before turning away again and hurrying after Teal'c. Jack didn't like to admit it, even to himself, but there was something horribly sinister about the robed figure that now stared blankly at his retreating back.

As he and Teal'c swept the area, finding nothing much besides a whole lot of trees and some grass, Jack found himself recalling the swirling silver symbol again, it's many edges curved into points like an array of smooth circles edged in sinister needles. God, Jack really hated needles, and he had a feeling that he would not forget that hypnotic, sinister symbol in a hurry.

Especially since, over a month later, having finally gone off world for the first time since loosing his 2IC, Jack was to find himself looking at the same image. This time it was a vast silver sculpture, there to greet him as he and the remaining members of SG1 stepped out of the Stargate and onto a new planet; a place where simply losing Carter almost seemed better than the alternative Jack was soon to discover.

Maybe, he'd soon think, just maybe, that moment when he had lost her was not so bad after all. Maybe it wasn't the worst moment of his life. Not compared to this.


	4. Chapter 4

_Note: Hi there! I haven't updated in such a long time, sorry about that everybody! I just thought I would mention, in case I didn't before, that I am from England, so I'm sorry if sometimes I don't make complete sense to you American folks! I hope you can forgive me. =) _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate and I am not making any profit from this piece of writing. _

**4: Delusions**

Jack simply stared.

He was vaguely aware of Daniel launching into one of his we-come-in-peace speeches as the crowd of locals swelled around them, the activating of the Stargate having caused a stir. But Jack didn't hear a word. Instead he stared at the familiar symbol, frantically going over past events in his head, how Carter had disappeared, that strange robed man and the eerie ring thing that had given him the creeps...

There was some sort of connection, he was sure of it. Something connected that place and this one...

He simply had absolutely no idea whatsoever as to what the connection was.

"...I'm Daniel Jackson, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill and this is Teal'c." Daniel was busy explaining, and Jack looked away from the sculpture in order to see a tall, broad shouldered man step forward from the crowd.

"Greetings, Daniel Jackson." the man boomed, his voice seemed unnaturally low, though Jack figured it kind of suited his enormous, hulking frame. "I am Torrik. Welcome, all of you."

Daniel launched into the next part of his little speech and Jack continued to study Torrik carefully. Geez, the guy was seriously big, way bigger than any of the other villagers, Jack thought. Hell, he could give Teal'c a run for his money where muscles were concerned...

"If you intend to stay a while," Torrik said, bringing Jack out of his thoughts yet again, "you are welcome to stay in my home. I have a spare room that you may rest in."

"Well that would be very kind of you, Torrik." Daniel smiled warmly at the offer. Jack attempted to smile too. He was not sure that he had managed it, hell he was not sure he had truly smiled in over a month. He wondered how Daniel did it. Of the two men, Jack had always thought himself the better actor.

"Come," Torrik turned and the crowd immediately parted to let them through. "This way."

As they fell into step behind him, Jack eyed their surroundings warily, taking in every detail that he could, searching for any hint or clue that might tell him something, _anything_ about what had happened to Carter. His concentration was disturbed somewhat by Teal'c who was walking just beside him.

"O'Neill," the Jaffa said, his voice low as Daniel continued to talk animatedly with Torrik. "I have yet to see any women in this place."

As he observed a small group of men sat in chairs outside of a nearby building, it occurred to Jack that Teal'c was right. Geez, how come he hadn't noticed? He'd been looking hard enough.

"Yeah Teal'c, you're right." he agreed in an undertone. "Wonder where they're hiding..."

They were lead to a house surrounded by tall brick walls and shown to a small room that Torrik announced was to be their bedroom. After examining the somewhat sparse furniture the three members of SG1 set about unpacking the sleeping bags from their packs, the few blankets that their host had provided seeming less than inviting. As he paused in his arranging of his bedding to glance out of the window, Jack found himself looking out into a somewhat dilapidated looking walled garden, it's grass patchy and dry looking under the warm sun. Jack watched as a figure walked into view, carrying a large basket full of washing in both arms, followed by a second with a similar basket.

"Looks like we found the women." Jack announced, but neither Teal'c or Daniel seemed to be listening.

Both women were dressed in hooded dresses made of some sort of thin, floaty material, their faces hidden beneath their hoods. Jack watched as they set about hanging the washing out to dry, their dresses flapping in the breeze. As he watched the wind blew the hood back from the second woman's head and she set the clothes she was holding back down in her basket before reaching to pull it back up again.

Not before Jack got a good look at her first, however, and despite himself he audibly gasped.

"Carter!" he shouted before he could stop himself, before turning to his team mates, pointing triumphantly through the window. "Daniel! Teal'c! Look! It's Carter!"

"What are you talking about, Jack?" Daniel asked as he looked up from straightening his sleeping bag. Jack wanted to scream at the archaeologist's complete lack of urgency.

"I'm talking about Carter! Here! Right here, in that garden!" Jack pointed urgently out of the window and Daniel scrambled hurriedly to his feet to get a look.

"I don't see anybody, Jack." the younger man observed, his shoulders immediately slumping.

"Neither do I, O'Neill." Teal'c agreed.

Jack turned to look back out of the window. The garden was deserted.

"She was right there!" he insisted, pointing again at the washing line upon which a few garments now hung.

Teal'c and Daniel exchanged a skeptical glance. The Jaffa raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno, Jack...maybe...maybe you saw the clothes out of the corner of your eye and..."

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" Jack cried, fists clenched in aggravation. "I know what I saw, Daniel! She was stood right there!" When nobody seemed anymore convinced he threw his hands up in exasperation. "You think I'm being delusional?! I'll tell you what's delusional, for god's sakes, us all just standing here doing nothing!"

Again, Teal'c and Daniel exchanged a look.

"O'Neill," Teal'c said at last as Jack stepped closer to the window and leaned out, attempting to get a better look at the garden. "I do not believe that Major Carter could be here. This is not the planet upon which she was lost to us."

"What's your point, Teal'c!" Jack snapped, rounding on his companions, his teeth clenched in frustration. "They could have used the Stargate! They could have ships!"

"I doubt it, Jack, we caused quite a commotion when we came through. I don't think the natives use the 'Gate here and they seem a bit primitive to have ships..."

"You saw the Nox! Don't be fooled, Daniel, they could have a whole fleet..."

Daniel held up his hands, a silent plea for rationality.

"Okay, okay!" he said as Jack turned and again started to look out at the garden. "Let's just...let's just assume for a wild moment that you did just see Sam in that garden. What was she doing?"

"She was doing the washing."

"The washing...?"

"Yeah, can't you see the clothes?!"

"Right...so...so Sam was hanging out the washing. That's...that's well...pretty alright. What I mean to say is that she was not exactly in danger, right?"

"No, she was just hanging out the washing."

"Okay. So that's...weird...but not dangerous. So there's no need for us to loose our heads or...or do something irrational..."

"You don't believe me." Jack observed despairingly, reaching to pull the baseball cap from his head and rake a hand through his hair. "Oh this is...this is just..._peachy_! Will you stop doing that?!" he added as the other two looked at each other yet again. "You know what? Fine, don't believe me! But I call the shots around here and I say I saw her. Teal'c you can go and report back to Earth, me and Daniel will start looking for Carter."

Teal'c and Daniel watched him turn and head out of the room.

"O-kay..." Daniel breathed, reaching to take off his glasses and polish them with the sleeve of his BDUs.

"O'Neill is behaving very strangely, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c observed.

"I think you better tell Hammond." Daniel muttered.


End file.
